Long nights of thinking with no sleep tend to make someone cranky the next day!! I couldn't help thinking of many things going around last night. Flashbacks to the past!

Things are moving twice the speed of light in my life. Yesterday, I had a strange feeling, I don't know but I can't put it in words because it felt good and bad at the same time. So at night , I read some of what I wrote in the past 3 years and that brought back many good and bad memories at the same time. And probably, that’s why I couldn’t go to sleep easily.

Yesterday was a day of memories. In the afternoon, I went to Mold Technologies where I used to work 3 years ago. That place will always remain special to me because I spent 4 tough years there. I started my career in MT in 2000, I learned a lot, worked hard, had my peak hits and I also had my kicks there. I remember all of the details. It really felt I was back in time when I opened the design backup they have there and browsed the files till I reached "Fadi's Computer". My legacy!! They tell a story of a rebel, a cold war, high risks, break throughs and also a share of loosing.  .My files contain my work in 2000, 2001, the files I could save in 2002 after I had the wrong hard disk formatted by mistake, and my work in 2003. I wanted to write about this closed chapter of my life a while ago but I didn't have the guts until today.

Leaving Mold Tech was one turning point in my life. I remember how I went nuts in Dec 2003 as I was about to leave. Yes, I went beyond control! I was so happy that I didn't have to deal with hypocrites anymore but on the other hand, I didn’t have any clue of what I was going to do next. I will quote something I wrote on Dec 26^th 2003: " Well I put on that happy face when I am around everybody else at work, home , friends and everybody but it seems that when i get home things change if I’m on my own!!! I am not so scared.. nah ..not at all  but it’s just that I have soo much going on right now and i don't know how to act the best way … sometimes I get a lil confused … It seems that in life the minute we get confused everything just worsens !!!!  but i know i have to be strong becuase if i don't, then the people I care for wont be strong either. It’s just I am going through a terrible time you know and it’s almost over now … 3 days to go : )

Sometimes when I think to myself where am i going and what am i doing now that is going to take me there (to where am I going you know),  I just get confused! People,  I have no damn idea what i want to be or where i want to go with my life. It seems that every five minutes i change my mind …lol… " That’s funny indeed. I ended up doing design work again!

 Dec 2003 was a turning point on the personal level as well.  CAC changed my life in Dec. I remember the time.

Unfortunately things were over a year ago.

The present…..

I crashed to another car this afternoon but thanks God nobody got hurt. It was my fault.

Nighty